Crafty-Ass Witch

Aliza Ess from Baltimore DIY linked me to the current Slate article about canning. The contents of which basically say that the current canning trend is full of self-congratulatory bohos who volunteer to weed at organic farms and tell themselves that canning their own food or curing their own bacon is cheaper than storebought and better for the environment, neither of which is actually true. The author also points out that canning is work, drudge work and that our forebearers didn’t like to do it. She wants us to see it for what it is, a nice hobby that makes pretty things to put on your windowsill and enjoy in the winter to remind you of summer.

Sigh.

As I remarked to Aliza on twitter, this feels very reminiscent of the ‘look at those cute young hipsters knitting!’ articles that made the rounds when knitting had its renaissance in 2003-2004. Those were also dismissive of the hobby, also proclaimed it cute and also proclaimed it basically pointless in the long run. People writing these articles often missed the point. They talked about nesting after 9/11, about young people trying to make things for cheap, about entrepeneurs, about fun fur scarves. The point was to spend time making something exactly the way you want it for someone you care about (yourself, loved ones or charity). What greater act of self-love is there than to spend 40+ hours knitting yourself a cashmere sweater, designed to fit you exactly, in a color and pattern you love? And there are similar reasons to spend your time canning food.

So, let’s go through this article, point by point.
Point 1: Canning is trendy. True. Yay! As I often say, people with hobbies want to recruit. Why? The more people involved in the hobby, the more demand there is for supplies, the more mainstream it gets. Being able to find canning lids in December from someplace that’s not Amazon would be awesome.

Pont 2: This used to be common practice, was replaced by mechanization and modernization and is now having a trendy renaissance. This sure sounds like knitting when it first got popular! You’d see a lot of ‘why would you spend $20 on sock yarn and spend 20 hours knitting a pair of socks when you could buy a pair for $2 at the Walmart?’ So, why would I spend money and hours making pots of strawberry jam? The answer’s the same for both questions: because I want to, because I can and because I can customize it. I personally don’t like handknit socks (too heavy), but my dad does. It’s been his Christmas present 2 years running. I knit the socks specifically to his foot size so there’s no leftover room. Why would I make strawberry jam? I know exactly what’ll be in it (I’ll get to that later), I enjoy doing it and I can make the jam fun and different. Strawberry ginger jam? Strawberry balsamic jam? How about a sugar free jam? Or with just the amount of sugar I like? I can control this to get exactly the jam I want because… get this… I MADE IT. Booyah. Done. Awesome.

Point 3: Pickling, canning and curing is part of the local food movement and usually practiced by urban food junkies who can for weekend projects. Well, I can’t really fault her there. I try to be a part of the local food community when my finances allow. And I can be a bit of a food junkie that way. I really enjoy taking Sunday afternoon to bake bread and make cheese and then have both for dinner.

Point 4: These foodie hipsters would rather blog about what they’ve canned instead of make healthy lunches for the week. Um… who says I can’t do both? I own a crockpot. It’s easy enough for me to make locally sourced bison chili using home canned tomatoes in the crockpot while I can some marmalade for the can jam. (That’s actually not true. I’m out of bison until the farmer’s market reopens next month and I finished off my canned tomatoes in December.) Or heck, I could make a ploughman’s lunch and enjoy the fruits of my labor that way (minus the stout, of course).

Point 5: Canning isn’t frugal unless you grow your own food. Well, if you’re buying $5 a pound heirloom tomatoes, no, it’s not. If you’re using $1 a pound tomatoes from the local pick your own, it is. And even if you don’t have the ways or means to make the trek out there, there are ways around the issue. Make friends with the vendors at your local farmers market and see if they’ll be willing to sell you a bushel of bruised apples or peaches on the cheap. When I bought 3 pounds of peppers to roast & can, the vendor offered to sell me bruised ones at a discount if I was going to pickle them in strips (I wasn’t, so I didn’t take him up on it, which I am kicking myself about now). Make friends with neighbors with fruit trees. If you get a CSA, ask your farmer if s/he’s got a glut of anything you can get to preserve. And yes, the initial investment in jars can be expensive, but replacement lids are plentiful. If it’s your first go round canning tomatoes, you’ll probably spend about the same or a little more than buying a can, but that’s not the point. And I think the biggest investment of canning is time. It’s not a quick ordeal. Tomatoes take 40 minutes to process, and that’s after you peel and deseed the tomatoes and get the water to boil. Is the result ultimately worth it? I think it is.

Point 6: Canning is drudgery and work. And some of us enjoy it. Sorry you don’t. And no, we don’t have to do it to eat in the winter the was Ms. Dickerman’s mom did. But her mom also admitted that it tasted good. Probably better than the asparagus you get in the grocery store in September.

Point 7: This trend isn’t about preserving serious food for the future, it’s for making condiments that are pretty. I… I’m sorry, what? What? I think this partly comes from the idea that to can most vegetables, you need a pressure canner, which is expensive and too much work. Now, since I don’t own a pressure canner (but my birthday’s coming up… just saying), I can’t comment on how much harder it is to preserve using one, but I don’t believe it’s difficult. Ms. Dickerman referenced the sublime Well-Preserved by Eugenia Bone, but did she actually look at the recipes? Included are diced tomatoes, preserved bell peppers, asparagus, cauliflower and so on. All with water bath canning. Tomatoes are easily preserved in a water bath. When I put things up this summer, I did batches of diced tomatoes and tomato sauce and with both, the only special ingredient was citric acid, which you can find at most grocery stores in August as Fruit Fresh. Or make bruschetta in a jar like everyone else this summer involved in the canvolution (and you should. It’s delicious). Apple sauce is simple to make and can, and easy to use for baking or just as a snack. I pickled peaches and made jam this summer and have been adding both of them to yogurt all winter. My pickled beets are divine (if I do say so myself) and are an excellent component in salads or appetizers. In the summer, I eat them straight from the jar. Pickled carrots are one of my favorite snacks. Yes, to can just straight carrots or beets or beans or chicken stock or whatever would require a pressure canner and proper consultation with the canning bible, but it’s doable and it’s easy.

What frustrates me the most here is that Ms. Dickerman is missing the point. Yes, canning and preserving is trendy right now. Yes, it’s done by local foodies as a hobby weekend product. Yes, there’s a self-congratulatory element to it. I mean, I think there’s a self-congratulatory aspect to the entire food movement. Have you ever tried to eat just local food? It’s HARD. I’d be self-congratulatory too! But none of this is the point. The point is that we can so that it’s ours. I spent my weekends in August putting up diced tomatoes, tomato sauce, peppers, jam, apple sauce, apple butter, etc… so that this winter, I can pull out a jar of sauce to dump over pasta without worrying about high fructose corn syrup or other preservatives. With all of the information coming out about BPA in canned goods, I feel safer taking the time to can my own tomato sauce than to buy a can of tomatoes from the store. Plus, canned tomatoes taste like metal.

In the comments, Ms. Dickerman apologizes for forgetting about the aspect of canning for others. Much like knitting, canning is something that is enjoyable to do for yourself and others (though in canning, it’s easy to do something for yourself that benefis others as well). I gave my staff and friends pots of blackberry jam for the winter holidays (bruschetta in a jar for those I knew were on a diet/sugar restrictions). I’m donating a basket of canned goods to a silent auction for my favorite pagan charity.

And why is it that these articles are always about “women’s trends?” If this was an article written about manly men buying too many power tools and making their own shelves, would you call it cute? Do articles about urban farming, chicken cooping or backyard beekeeping get the same treatment? (I guess chickens do)

It’s inevitable that when something becomes popular, articles are written by someone to explain the trend to others and it inevitably minimizes the movement and is unintentionally insulting. It happens. I’ve been guilty of it too (sorry Harry Potter fanfic). So, congratulations are in order there for Ms. Dickerman. You get to be the first of what I’m sure will be many head-deskers. But you don’t get any of my peach ginger jam OR my pickled carrots.

One of the things I bust out when I talk about how crafty I am or how into eating local I am is that I like to make my own cheese. Through one of my various blog obsessions, I found the link to this yogurt cheese recipe. Since last night we were going to an Oscar party and had bought 3 giant tubs of greek yogurt from Costco on Friday, I thought I’d give it a try.

First, this recipe is damn simple. Place cheesecloth in a sieve, put sieve on top of mixing bowl, let sit in fridge for 2 hours, squeeze excess whey out of cheese cloth, put into bowl, mix with seasoning. What happens is that all of the excess whey drains out of the yogurt through the cheesecloth, leaving only milk solids. The result is a tangy cheese about the consistency of cream cheese or a spreadable goat cheese. And if you use low fat or no fat yogurt, you’ve got a low calorie treat! Heck, use full fat yogurt, it’s still good for you. The teaspoon of olive oil I added to the final result probably added some calories, but not enough to care. I used Fage greek yogurt, but that was only because we had a bunch on hand. You could use plain storebought yogurt or homemade yogurt. (Though if you use homemake yogurt, it’ll probably have to drain for longer than 2 hours, since homemade yogurt is usually runnier than storebought)

Once you have your yogurt cheese out of the cheese cloth, wash your cheesecloth! Then, season your cheese to taste. Use the seasonings in the link above, or get creative! If you’ve got fresh herbs in your garden, this would be delightful with basil, rosemary, garlic, olive oil and a little bit of salt and pepper. If you want something sweeter, maybe agave syrup and roast walnuts with a touch of cinnamon. This would probably also be fun with curry powder, a jerk chicken rub, herbs de provence or Penzey’s Mural of Flavor. (If you don’t shop at Penzey’s for spices, you need to. Now.) I seasoned mostly according to recipe, though I used a smoked finishing salt I got for Christmas, used a little cayenne & cumin instead of paprika, skipped the dried onions, parsley and chives, because I didn’t have any. Still, this was easy enough and tasty enough with carrot sticks that I can’t wait to incorporate this into our usual diet.

If you’ve ever wanted to make cheese but been too intimated to try, trust me, it’s really easy. I think the thing that keeps me from making cheese the most is that it feels wrong to make it using store bought milk and not farmer’s market milk (and it tastes so. much. better. with farmer’s market milk). But this is easy, simple and delicious. And if you can do this, it’s an easy stepping stone to making your own mozzarella. The hardest part with that is getting the rennet and food grade citric acid, but a good cooking supply store (or Amazon) will have both.

If you know me in real life or on one of the various social networking sites I’m on, you’ll know that I’ve been working my way through the Couch to 5K running program since September, when my almost mother-in-law guilted my fiancee and I into running a Thanksgiving 5K Turkey Trot with her. I decided that if I was going to run a race, I had to actually work on running, so I started the program. (Side Note – I never actually ran that race. Two days before, I went jogging with my AMIL and twisted my left ankle really badly. I was pretty much crushed)

After 3 or 4 extremely poor workouts, I spent $3 on an iPhone app and hoo mama, how that changed things! Not having to look down at a watch and say ‘has it been 90 seconds? I think it’s been 90 seconds. OK, it’s been 30 seconds, but I’m calling it anyway” or realized that you’ve been walking for 4 minutes instead of two really does wonders. And more importantly, it started getting fun. And by fun, I mean not fun at all, but I am the kind of person who really enjoys being able to check things off a list or view my progress. (Side note #2 – No, I have no idea which app I have. I think maybe the first one, though neither actually looks like my app. Of course, I haven’t upgraded my Touch software since Apple rolled out new versions because I hate being nickel & dimed. It’s bad enough I had to pay $10 to get access to the app store, now you want me to pay another $7 for non-critical upgrades?)

And what worked out even better is that I started jogging on my lunch break. It’s not perfect, as my returns to the office are red-faced and sweaty and I end up changing in a bathroom, but I literally have no excuse not to do it (except, well, lunch. And bad weather). It’s in the middle of the day, so I can’t sleep through it or “I’ll go in 10 minutes” my way out of it. Plus I can enjoy the scenery instead of staring at a treadmill. (Side Note #3 – I hate treadmills. I’d rather have a hamster wheel. It’s easier to set and adjust your pace when you’re actually running than on a treadmill. Plus I won’t shame myself into slowing down)

At first, I was really frustrated because my feet hurt all the time. I got a slightly better pair of running shoes designed for overpronators and running suddenly got a whole lot easier. Then I felt like my muscles were strong enough that I could run for longer periods of time, but I didn’t have the endurance built up. (Side Note #4 – a diagnosis of exercise asthma and an inhaler did wonders to help me breathe better!) Then I did my first 15 minute jog and realized that yes, yes I could. Today, I just finished week 8 day 1 of the program. That’s a 28 minute jog. I bold it because I find that utterly astonishing. And now, of course, the opposite has occurred. I feel like I have the endurance to do these runs (well, kind of), but not the calf strength. I’m sure I’ll vacillate between both in building up my strength.

I’ve got my first 5K coming up at the end of next month. I’m excited. I’m spending more money on athletic clothes than I am on regular clothes. The only part of my tax refund that isn’t going to bills or saving is going to buy me a (desperately needed) new pair of running shoes. And the thing is, I’m discovering that these kind of systems, where you have guidelines, start small and build up really work for me. I tend to be an all or nothing kind of girl. If I do something, especially as a fat girl doing something athletic, I have to do it, do it hard and be the best at it. Increments help me do that without hurting myself and building the strength I need to do it properly.

I have a feeling that hundred pushups will be next. They even have pushup logger for accountability (otherwise known as boring the crap out of my friends on facebook).

This is long and rambly, but the end result is that because I’ve been doing this program, I feel better and stronger (and yes, have lost a little weight, but that’s not the point) and I am excited about fitness. That never happens. Who knew?

You know, one would think that working out a lot and gaining a lot of muscle mass would lead me to crave healthier foods. Instead, I crave fried things. Lots and lots of  fried things. And cheese. Oooh, fried cheese things…

So, when I get bored, I automatically default to cooking or cleaning (or, given enough notice or slow cooker, both). This morning (OK, this afternoon), I woke up and just wanted to clean.

After taking care of wiping off the counters and vacuuming, it was time for the fridge. I signed up for The Kitchn Cure, and while the fridge was fairly decent, it was good to go through it. Before:

After:

It doesn’t look like a lot, but believe me, there was. Threw out an old gallon of milk, moldy jam, mustard best by 2008, beets I pickled last summer, etc… Honestly, I forgot about my cabinets, but they’re in fairly decent shape. I need to figure out what to do with all of my pints of pickled peaches, since I’ve got about 6 pints of them.

I also have IKEA SLOM bottles, which I cannot recommend enough. They’re cheap and awesome! I woke up wanting to fill one with pink lemonade iced tea, a great caffeine free, chemical free tasty drink. Unfortunately, my dishwasher loves to spew stuff into them and I had some stuff in there at the bottom that wouldn’t scrub off. After consulting the internet, I put some raw rice at the bottome and shook it until kingdom come. It worked! And I got a cool picture out of it.

The other thing that I am over the freaking moon about, is that I finally did the mending!

I’ve had 6 tank tops and a ripped nighty sitting on my desk since probably September and yet I’ve never actually gotten around to shortening them. In my head, sewing requires so much prep work and set up… plugging in and threading a machine seems too time consuming compared to picking up knitting and going. But these days I have a fabulous, easy to use, easy to thread, impossile to horribly snarl the bobbin sewing machine. I keep forgetting that I’m no longer using my mom’s old machine and that I have a fabulous machine I bought a few years ago. It works, it works weel and I can make pretty things with it! Like an apron I finished last week (pics forthcoming, I still need to iron it, which requires about as much psyching up for as setting up the sewing machine). I’ve got a bunch of dress patterns and fabric and I need to actually use it.

Anyway, rather than just laundry listing my accomplishments, I thought I’d talk about why. I think I default to cleaning, cooking and organizing because putting my surroundings in order means I’m putting myself in order, somehow. It’s hard to be unhappy in your surroundings when they’re clean and organized. It’s a never-ending process and I always feel like I’m behind somehow, so it’s nice to feel like I’ve caught up.

I don’t do graduals. I don’t.

It’s weird. I wake up one day and notice that I’ve gained 30 pound, freak out because I’m so fat, how could I have gotten this way, oh my gods, none of my pants fit, I’m going to die sad, fat and alooooooone! (Please notice that in these freakouts, my loving, wonderful, light of my life fiancee vanishes into the abyss. Have fun done there, honey!)

So, somewhere in the middle of this ‘I’m so faaaaaat’ freakout (which lasted a good six months), I started taking pilates. It was taught by a friend of mine at my job. All I had to do was change on my lunch break and walk 300 feet. It was also a steal at $6 a class if you bought a series. I bought a series. My first class was Friday at lunch.

On Saturday, I couldn’t walk, bend or laugh without pain. I’ve never had a lot of core strength. I have friends who’d love to hang out in plank all day, while I’d rather chill in down dog. I hated every single moment of those classes. So I added the Tuesday series the next classes came around.

And suddenly, one day (several months later), I got stronger. I kept pushing myself, but it was easier. My instructor pointed it out to me. Little by little, I began to see progress. I went from doing pilates roll ups as feet down, knees up with my feet popping up in the air every time I did one. Then, one day, they didn’t. Then, Friday, I tried my legs straight out and where before they’d end up flying up in the air, they stayed flat on the ground. I’m telling you, I damn near threw myself a parade.

Progress happens slowly. I first started taking pilates class a year and a half ago. If I didn’t go twice a week, every week, I probably wouldn’t be where I am. And I’m still fat. But the most fantabulous thing of all is that I feel strong. It’s something to remind myself of when I’m having a bad body day. That I may hate this thing, but it works. It’s the only one I got. And it can do things now that it couldn’t have done before. And that’s pretty freaking awesome.

No bunnies, alas.

Baby carrots are of the devil. No really. They’re carrots whittled down into smaller carrots. Boo. So, today I made us some carrot sticks and put them in a mason jar with some water in to keep it fresh. A little more time intensive, a good amount less guilt.

I’m getting ready to go to my second performance of The Vagina Monlogues. I’m in a community theatre production supporting V-Day. While a lot of people perform in this as an empowering act, a way to reclaim themselves, really, I’m just doing it for fun. There was no particular meaning behind my auditioning. A friend was directing and I thought it’d be fun.

But in doing this, I’m reminded again of the magic of theatre. I work in the performing arts and the magic of a professional theatre production is a completely different and still fabulous animal. But community theatre throws a disparate group of people together, people who aren’t getting paid and have no reason to do it but for the art of it, and they make magic. You could argue, and rightfully so, that professional actors have no reason to act but for the art of it. And having known many actors and other theatre professionals on the verge of making it, I would wholeheartedly agree. But the ‘let’s have a show in the barn!’ aspect of community theatre warms the cockles of my heart, every time. I’ve made friends I’m hoping to keep for years, raised money for domestic violence, and gotten on stage in front of people and acted for the first time since high school. I took a monologue that’s always been my least favorite of the show and turned it into something I can be proud of. That’s kind of extraordinary.

And I can hear you saying, “But Christina, The Vagina Monologues have been around for 15 years! They’re not really relevant anymore, are they?” And while the one-two punch of the Bosnian woman monologue no longer feels as relevant as it did in 1999, rape is still a systematic tactic of war in places across the world, including horrifying atrocities done to women in The Congo. And every time I’ve been to a performance (10 productions and counting), I’ve encountered people who’ve never been there before who learn something. I think it’s a testament to this show that most doctors DO warm up the duck lips! And also, raising money for causes at home and overseas? Never irrelevant.

Support your local vagina. Go see The Vagina Monologues.

Welcome to my blog. I hope this will be a place of craftiness, canning, baking, fitness and just a little bit of pagan spirituality. Delightful!